Tag: Leadership

The Positive Power of Regret

On By Joe DeRosaIn Leadership1 Comment

Regret

We’ve all done it.  Looked back and said, “Gosh I wish I hadn’t done that.”  Decisions we made, things we did or didn’t do that led to an unfortunate, uncomfortable, or disappointing experience.  Many times our failures can be tracked back to a decision we made, failed to make, or even made too hastily.  Likewise, success can be viewed in the same way.  But if you stop to look at the critical moments of your life, or your crucible moments as they’re often called, you may find a new tool in your bag worth using.  Regret.

Oddly enough “woulda, coulda, shoulda” could play a key role in helping to improve your decision-making.  How so?

Let’s imagine I have an important decision to make.  Could be personal, could be professional, it really doesn’t matter which.  I start by looking at the information I have in hand.  What do I know, what don’t I know?  What feelings or emotions strike me as I think through the different paths I could take in making this decision?  Perhaps I take the step to do a typical Pros and Cons sheet.  I write down all the positive things that could happen if I make Decision “A” along with the negative.  I do the same for Decision “B”.  I tally up all the pros from each chart and the one with the most is typically the path I take.  These are all fairly standard techniques in decision-making.  Now let’s add Regret.

Imagine 6 months have passed and you’re not in the place you had hoped you’d be.  Something went wrong along the way and things just didn’t turn out as you expected.  You’re unhappy, miserable, and regretting things.  Now come back to the present and ask yourself, what would I have done different to change that regretful outcome?  Maybe 6 months from now that diet didn’t work and I actually gained weight.  I may have regretted not working out 6 days a week, or eating that bag of potato chips every night.  Six months from now I may have failed my Chemistry class.  I may have regretted not studying enough, or asking for extra help from my professor.  Or maybe 6 months from now I’ve missed my sales goal again.  I may regret not making those extra calls each day when I quit at 5 pm.  I might regret not going to a networking event because it dug into my personal time.

Regardless of whether you have a personal or professional regret, using the positive power of regret may just help you make a different decision in the present that results in a better outcome in the future.  Regret can be a powerful tool when combined with visualization.  Visualize yourself in that unhappy moment, the failure you may feel, the disappointment that weighs on you.  Now take those feelings and ask what would I have done differently?  Regret often times gives you a second chance if you embrace it properly.

As Henry David Thoreau said, “Make the most of your regrets; never smother your sorrow, but tend and cherish it till it comes to have a separate and integral interest. To regret deeply is to live afresh.”

Why Failure is Your Friend

On By Joe DeRosaIn LeadershipLeave a comment

Failure

Years ago I read the book Failing Forward by John Maxwell and it had a profound impact on my life. I grew up in an ultra competitive home where me and my sisters were raised to believe that failure was not an option. As I entered the workforce and began my career I carried this belief with me only to learn, in short order, that failures can happen regardless of the actions taken.

From bad bosses (you know who you were), to poorly run companies (you know who you were as well) to jobs I simply didn’t like, failure began to approach my doorstep uninvited. I worked hard, pressed forward, acted with persistence and determination and still experienced my share of failures.  I’ve missed sales numbers, hired the wrong people, and had sales and marketing campaigns fall flat.  Yup, I’ve seen my share of failures.

Sometime after turning 40 I began to view things differently. For the first time I was able to look back at my failures not as failures but as critical learning events that took place at a moment in time. I’ve been battle tested, failed at times, yet have come out stronger each and every time.

We learn when we fail. In fact I’d argue the quality of education we get from failure is vastly better than the education we get from success. Success is simply the culmination of multiple failures. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. The greatest inventions ever were the result of countless failures. Many of the world’s most deadly diseases were cured only after countless failures while looking for a cure. Thomas Edison once said he it took more than 10,000 tries to invent the light bulb.  What if he gave up at 9,000?  I’d hate to think I’d be writing this in the dark.

The point is that we learn from our failures…if we allow ourselves to.  Here are 3 things that failure helps to improve:

  1. Decision making.  Making decisions is a tough business.  It requires speed, thoughtfulness, intuition, and experience.  Experience comes through both failure and success.  The more you have of both the better decisions you will make.
  2. Mental health.  The sooner you embrace failures as your friend and not your enemy the quicker you’ll be able to look at failure for what it is…a teacher.  You fall off your bike and you know it’s not the end of the world so you get back on.  You get laid off from a job and find another so now you know that losing a job isn’t a life sentence.
  3. Leadership.  Personally I want to work for someone who’s failed…at least a few times.  I’m much more willing to march into battle behind a battle-tested leader than someone who is entering their first rodeo.  Leaders who have lived the highs and lows are typically more stable offering a steady hand in times of stress as they’ve seen it before and know they can navigate through it.  While it may sound odd to say, failure is one of the biggest ingredients to building confidence.  The more you know you’re capable of handling the more confident you will be in yourself.

So rethink your opinion of failure.  It really is your friend if you let it be.

The Secret to Leading a National Sales Team to Success? Communication.

On By Joe DeRosaIn Leadership, Sales1 Comment

Win

Vince Lombardi said, “Coaches who can outline a play on a blackboard are a dime a dozen.  The ones who win get inside their player and motivate.”  This insight from Coach Lombardi speaks to the necessity for all leaders to understand their players and instill confidence while inspiring a desire for to achieve greatness.

Running a national sales organization is difficult. There are numerous challenges that come into play that every leader must deal with on a regular basis.  Cultural differences, time zones, and competition are just a few of the most pressing items that every sales leader encounters.

While there are many critical characteristics that make up a great national sales leader one stands above the rest…communication.  Communication is both art and science.  At its most effective level communication is a two-way street.  A give and take.  A back and forth.  It requires research, listening, understanding and patience.  Good communicators know what to say.  Great communicators know how to say it and when.  The right message delivered at the wrong time, in the wrong venue, or with the wrong tone can be just as disastrous as delivering the wrong message.  Great leaders know their people.  They understand what drives them.  What makes them tick.  Because of their deep insight into their people they are able to communicate at a higher level than those leaders who don’t take the time to get to know their people.

To be a great communicator you must do these 6 things:

  1. Educate yourself in your area of expertise.  It always amazes me how some folks believe that because they’ve been “in the business” for 10, 15, or 20 plus years they just know it all.  Their arrogance has misled them providing a false sense of security.
  2. Get to know your team.  Really get to know them.  Spend one-on-one time with them to understand who they are, what’s important to them, where they want to go, and when they’d like to get there.  Listen to them and be sure to focus all your attention on them.  We’ve all had those meetings where the person we’re talking to has “wandering eyes” and you just know they’re not hearing you.
  3. Practice.  Use a mirror.  Even after more than 25 years of building and leading large teams I still practice my message in front of a mirror.  Facial expressions are just as important as your message.  If the two appear disconnected your credibility goes out the window.
  4. Show empathy.  As the saying goes, “people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” Empathy can only be developed when you take a genuine interest in helping others.
  5. Do it often.  The more you communicate with the right message the more transparent you become.  After all that’s what people want…transparency.  The ability to know what to expect without surprises is what builds credibility.
  6. Be clear.  Say what you mean.  Minimize the buzz words, big words, and impressive phrases.  No one cares how smart you sound.  They’re only interested in whether what you do can help them meet their needs.

Give it a shot and let me know how it works!

5 Ways To Make Your Meetings More Effective

On By Joe DeRosaIn BusinessLeave a comment

Improve

Another meeting?  Most days start with meetings and end with meetings.  We spend our days running from one to another, whether in person or via the infamous conference call.  Some companies can’t operate without having a meeting to discuss even the smallest of decisions or topics, while others work hard to minimize the number of meetings they schedule. It’s not that meetings are bad, it’s just that most of them are an ineffective use of time. Little is accomplished during these meetings other than wasting the time spent being in the meeting itself, as well as the time spent preparing for that meeting.

So how can you increase your level of meeting effectiveness?

Here are 5 things you should do before scheduling a meeting:

1. Create and include a clear meeting objective. Provide a brief summary of the purpose of the meeting. Be sure to state whether this meeting is meant to inform, solicit feedback, or make a decision.
2. Invite the right people. The key word here is “right”. Don’t get caught up inviting the entire company to make sure you’ve CYA’d yourself. Have the right people there. The type of meeting you have set will determine who you should invite.
3. Be clear on your time. If you need an hour then schedule an hour. If you believe that your topic may go over an hour then plan accordingly. People hate to attend meetings that consistently run over. You don’t want to create the perception that you’re a poor planner.
4. Provide materials in advance. Many people feel that meetings should be somewhat of a surprise. I can’t stand that approach. Time is valuable for everyone. Why wait until the meeting to drop a 20 page deck on people. Give them time to read through it and absorb it. Having the ability to formulate questions, thoughts, and opinions prior to the meeting is key to running an effective meeting.
5. Schedule critical meetings during the day before 4 pm. The fact is that human nature is such that most people find getting invited to a meeting that starts at 4 pm to be annoying. Hey I know you have to be in the office until 6 pm anyway but still in all, people look to the end of their day to wrap up items that were opened during the day. Many 4 pm meetings become nothing more than place holders to reschedule another meeting when people are prepared, ready, and engaged.

Try taking these 5 actions before scheduling your next meeting and see how much smoother your meeting runs.

Stop Trying to Fit In and Start Being Remarkable

On By Joe DeRosaIn LeadershipLeave a comment

remarkable

Everyone wants to fit in. To be a part of the crowd. Some people go to extremes to remain invisible whether at school, the office, the gym, or anywhere else in pubic. Blending in is part of our culture. Why do you think brand names like Nike, Levi’s, Coke, Asics, Hollister, and Target are so valuable? They represent the main stream. Sure they offer quality and value but they also offer a strong emotional connection to safety. I’m safe if someone sees me wearing Nike, shopping at Target, or buying a Diet Coke.

But success doesn’t come to those who play it safe. Success isn’t for the faint of heart, or those who want to be part of the crowd. No. Success usually comes to those willing to take chances, to challenge the norms of society, to stand out and be remarkable.

Are you remarkable? Do you stand out at work or are you one of the crowd? Do your co-workers look at you as a thought leader? A progressive thinker? Or are you one of the many doers that get things done but not the one “cutting the edge?” Do you invest in building your personal brand? Are you working to create awareness around your ideas and opinions or are you silent, laying back, waiting for the next set of directions to come your way?

History is a great teacher of the correlation between remarkable and success. Thomas Jefferson, Steve Jobs, Donald Trump, and The Beatles all were remarkable for their time. Dimon, Reagan, Lincoln, and Gates made bold decisions, often unpopular, but remarkable in ways that led to great discoveries, financial stability, and peace through power.

We all have the ability to be remarkable. We may not all be Thomas Edison’s or Michael Dell’s but we each possess unique characteristics that if amplified make us remarkable. A great sense of humor, the ability to provide calm during turbulent times, or being able to rally people together for a common cause can be remarkable characteristics. What makes you remarkable?

Income Inequality. A Difficult Subject.

On By Joe DeRosaIn LeadershipLeave a comment

Equal

During the President’s State of the Union address he spoke to the country about income inequality. The difference between what one person makes versus another, for the same work, based upon gender, race, etc. Taken at face value I believe most people are in support of income equality. If two human beings are doing the same work, regardless of gender or race, they should be paid equal…of course that also requires all other things beyond those two criteria also being equal. And that’s where the challenge comes in.

Most successful people make significant sacrifices on their career journey to success. Long hours, missed events with their children, wedding anniversaries when they were out-of-town, an occasional birthday missed, or worse yet a birth of a child missed because of work. Many families make a very conscious and deliberate decision to focus on career advancement. This does not mean that they’ve chosen to throw everything to the wind. Perhaps their goal is to be able to send their child to Harvard, or vacation to destinations that provide both educational and personal awareness for their children to actually see what they have relative to others. And what about those that have made big sacrifices only to give back in a big way to their community with their time, skills, or money?

Every human being has free will. Of course ones ability to exercise their free will, or choice, depends in large part on where they live. American’s have the ultimate ability to choose. We can do what we want, when we want, without any interference from the government. Now to be clear, of course there are laws we need to abide by but even those are broken by people who have chosen to break them. The fact is that America was born around the concept of equal opportunity. We are the country (land) of opportunity. The land where hopes and dreams have a real possibility of becoming a reality. But even at our founding there were those that sacrificed much while others did not. That’s just human nature.

So the challenge is not in the concept of equal pay for equal work. The challenge sits with how to assess two different workers’ desires, passions, and commitments. No place is this executed better than in the world of professional sports.

Peyton Manning possesses many of the skills other quarterbacks have. Strong arm, deep understanding of defensive schemes, and the ability to change plays based upon what presents itself during the game. But Peyton Manning is different. His drive, his desire, his intense focus on watching game film over and over again. His personality presents additional leadership skills that make him even more valuable. Anyone remember Ryan Leaf? The point is that it is quite difficult to make things equal when most times the facts prove they are not equal. No two quarterbacks are the same, no two snowflakes are the same, no two CEOs are the same.

It’s a difficult if not emotional topic. It demands thought, conversation, debate, and action. We just need to be sure we’ve explored it as best we can before making things equal based solely on an altruistic perspective.  Being an American means  you have the right to explore, find, and secure opportunities.  It does not guarantee any specific outcome.  Just as we’re warned when we enter the Stock Market, no investment is guaranteed, it is simply an opportunity to invest and the possibility of your investment growing.  Think of each of us as investments.  We all have the opportunity to grow, and we all have the opportunity to fall.  Between luck, chance, skill, desire, commitment and ability the outcome – like a true investment – is never guaranteed.

Losing Key Employees? Stop Making Excuses and Face the Facts.

On By Joe DeRosaIn LeadershipLeave a comment

wake up

I can’t believe he left! What was she thinking, it’s not gonna be any better there. You know the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.

These are some of the most popular reactions from companies who continue to lose key employees. And I stress the word “key” because mediocre employees never leave. Key employees, those defined as progressive thinkers, customer advocates, or challengers to the status quo will always have opportunities to go elsewhere. It’s the employers responsibility to create an environment that is so loved and appreciated that these folks never entertain leaving.

Okay, some reading this may say, “wait a minute, it’s not my job to make people love their job, after all I’m already paying them and that’s where my responsibility ends.” To you I say think again. Leave your “you’re lucky to be employed” feelings at the door. Look around you. Today’s top employers are winning by providing employees with work that is meaningful, purposeful and an environment that is respectful and fun. No it’s not just about having fun, but that’s a necessary ingredient that can’t be ignored. Like leaving brown sugar out of your chocolate chip cookies, fun left out of the work environment will lead to work that’s bland, boring, and even bogus.

In a recent Forbes article on the things make a company great to work for, the number one ingredient for a great place to work was a strong culture. People spend more time and energy working to improve and succeed in a place where they are challenged, supported, and trusted. When you work for a company that micro manages, does not promote professional development, and reserves decision-making just for the company gods, you’re likely to end up with a workforce that’s numb, unengaged, and just looking to get through another day. Meaningful work simply cannot be done in this type of environment.

So to the managers and business owners running your companies as if you’re the only one(s) with ideas, it’s time to open your eyes. Stop running and start leading. Stop micromanaging and start providing opportunities for people to make decisions. And perhaps most importantly, especially for those entrepreneurs that started their business, stop thinking everyone is out to get you. While some people subscribe to the belief that paranoia is something every business person should have, I believe that paranoia should be reserved for your competitors. Be paranoid that your competitors are out to get you because they are. But don’t be paranoid that your employees are plotting to take you down. Trust them. Trust is one of the most powerful gifts a leader can give his or her people. Trust empowers, and empowered employees make for remarkable results.

Lessons From the Lone Survivor

On By Joe DeRosaIn LeadershipLeave a comment

Seals

Many leadership lessons  can be learned by observing and studying the United States Armed Forces.  Companies big and small turn to the military to learn how to better lead their teams, accomplish their goals, and execute their plans.  I was reminded of just how much can be learned from our solider’s this weekend when I saw Lone Survivor at the theater.  Of course Hollywood has a way of turning a story into a blockbuster film by adding dramatic elements that may or may not have actually happened but at its core Lone Survivor offers several lessons we can all learn from regardless of profession.

No matter what you do for a living you can be a leader.  The SEAL creed says,  “We expect to lead and be led.  In the absence of orders I will take charge, lead my teammates and accomplish the mission.  I lead by example in all situations.”  Whether a Petty Officer, Captain, or Lieutenant every solider is expected to lead and be led.  In business this can be seen in the execution of plans handed down from the executive team, up to and including the initiative someone takes beyond the scope of their job because something they saw needed to be done and they did it…for no other reason that it was the right thing to do.

I’ve blogged previously about accountability.  No where is accountability more visible, and demonstrated with authenticity, than by our Navy SEAL teams.  “We demand discipline.  We expect innovation.  The lives of my teammates and the success of our mission depend on me – my technical skill, tactical proficiency, and attention to detail.  My training is never complete.”  How many in the business world live this philosophy?  Do you believe your technical proficiency is critical to your success or the success of your team?  Which do you place first?  Are you willing to improve your skills even if it requires you to take action after hours, in the evenings, on the weekends?  All for the sake of your team’s success?

Finally, how many in business give up when things become difficult?  You stop making sales calls because you’ve already made 20 in a row and need a break.  Or you put off a customer until tomorrow because you don’t feel like getting into a problem at 4:45 pm knowing it will take you beyond the closing bell? “I will never quit.  I persevere and thrive on adversity.  My Nation expects me to be physically harder and mentally stronger than my enemies.  If knocked down, I will get back up, every time.  I will draw on every remaining ounce of strength to protect my teammates and to accomplish our mission.  I am never out of the fight.”  Do you quit too easily?  What are you doing to ensure you’re in the best shape you can be, mentally and physically, to meet the demands of your job?  Do you get up every time you hit an obstacle or do you take some time off?

Recently I had the privilege of having some 1:1 time with General Stanley McChrystal.  Now retired and running his own consulting and leadership development firm, I asked him what the biggest difference is he sees between the military and business.  His reply?  “In business no one dies from a bad decision or mistake.”  Talk about putting things in perspective.

Check out the SEAL creed.  Read it.  Think about it.  Challenge yourself to push your limits, your boundaries, your abilities.  Take accountability for who you are, what you do, and the results you produce.  And above all, thank your lucky stars that there are those that do possess the mental and physical toughness to protect our freedom…no matter what the cost.

Birds of a Feather

On By Joe DeRosaIn LeadershipLeave a comment

birds

Growing up my parents taught me the concept of “birds of a feather.” Seems that people tend to think of you relative to the company you keep. Hang with kids that are constantly in trouble and you too will be tagged or labeled as a trouble-maker even if you weren’t involved in the trouble caused. Befriend the kids with the brains and before you know it you could be viewed as one of the class geeks. Right, wrong, or indifferent the truth is that birds of a feather do flock together. And if that’s the case it may be time to take inventory of those you choose to surround yourself with.

A couple of years ago I attended a high school commencement ceremony. The principal of the school gave one of the most eloquent speeches I have heard. Perhaps it’s my age, perhaps it’s the benefit of life experience, regardless, I was jolted by a comment he made at the end of his speech. He said, and I quote, “If you’re in a room, and you’re the smartest person in that room, then you’re in the wrong room.” What am amazing insightful comment. Think about it.

We all need to be encouraged every now and then. To feel challenged. To be pushed, prodded, and sometimes forced to do things we don’t want to do in order to develop and improve. And if you believe that improvement comes from working or practicing with others that are not as good as you but better than you’ve just validated the birds-of-a-feather belief. Sure you can learn things from people who are not as skilled as you or as experienced as you. I learn things everyday from my children that amaze me. But relative to improving your craft, your career, you need to work with others who KNOW MORE than you, have DONE MORE than you, and are currently DOING MORE than you in order to help you improve.

Building a valuable network is the most critical element of success for growing leaders. Of course you could say an individual’s ability to learn is more important that having a network, or integrity, or sense of humor, but those are innate characteristics, your network is an external element that is needed to compliment your innate skills and abilities. Some of the most well-known, effective leaders achieved their accomplishments with the assistance of others in their network. Think FDR and Churchill, or Reagan and Thatcher, or W. and Blair. If you’re a sports fan think Walsh and Montana, or Jackson and Jordan. No matter what the profession, the true professionals understand that they NEED to pull from many other sources to help improve their results. So do you.

I’ll be blogging later this week on best practices in developing a high-value, high-performing network.

Charisma or Character…How To Tell The Difference

On By Joe DeRosaIn LeadershipLeave a comment

wolf

In life we encounter many different types of people.  Introverts, extroverts, funny, serious, loud, quiet, shy, and jocular.  These are all personality traits or characteristics of an individual.  They do not define or identify their character.  Many times we try to “read people” to determine if they have good intentions or selfish desires.  Confusing character with charisma is an area where most people struggle.  It also poses potential danger if misread.  So what’s the difference between character and charisma and how do you determine if the person you’re interacting with has great character or is simply charismatic?

Before you can determine character from charisma let us first establish a working definition for both.  Character is the way someone thinks, feels, and ultimately behaves.  Think of character as an individuals guiding light, or true north.  People of great character operate with authenticity.  They have strong self-awareness, and the likelihood of them doing the right thing under the most difficult of circumstances, is incredibly high…almost unquestioned.   Character boils down to doing the right thing when no one else is looking.  Character is hard-wired.  You can teach right from wrong, but you can’t teach character.

Charisma on the other hand is an appeal that attracts others to an individual.  It could be a specific talent or attribute.  Charisma, or charm, are qualities that are also hard-wired into a personality.  Many celebrities, politicians, and public figures have great charisma.  It’s a quality that has been developed over time and used to rally support behind a persons specific efforts.  In the movies, as in life, there are people who have enough charisma to make obnoxious characters likable.  Perhaps this is where the saying “wolf in sheep’s clothing” came into existence.  We are often times fooled in life by people who are very charismatic rather than supporting the individual with strong character.  People with charisma seem to have it all and it’s exciting to be around them.  But charisma is no substitute for character.

So how can you tell the difference?

  1. When talking with someone do they open up or keep things shallow or superficial?
  2. How willing is the person to roll up their sleeves and “do”, versus simply talking about “doing”?
  3. When interacting with others does the person focus on the material things or do they make human connections?
  4. What examples can be found where this person did something good for someone, or some company, for which they received nothing in return?
  5. How do they treat and interact with their family and friends?
  6. Do they keep their word even if doing so results in a loss?  Or are they quick to abandon their commitments and justify doing so with one reason or another?

Learning how to deal effectively with people throughout life will determine your success and happiness.  Being proficient in identifying people with character versus charisma will give you greater opportunities to align yourself with those who will truly add value to your life thereby create lasting relationships.  Focus on establishing relationships with people rich in character rather than charisma.  Remember, charisma is an outward sign whereas character comes from within.  Surrounding yourself with people high in character will bring you a lifetime of self-fulfillment and happiness.