Type A Personalities – 3 ways to confront anxiety

Worker thinks solution of his problems

Hard charging, Type A personalities, often struggle with taming their fear of failure.  Most would agree that fear, when kept in check and under control, is an emotion that can both protect and propel us.  Understanding the cause of the fear you’re experiencing is the first step to developing a plan to calm it, contain it, control it.

Anxiety is the result, or symptom, of fear. If I fear I won’t be able to hit the ball, anxiety causes me to dread my up-at-bat.  If I fear I will fail my statistics class, then anxiety will kick in and cause me to block any learning that will ultimately help me pass the class. If I fear I will miss my monthly sales number, my anxiety will cause me to go into rapid-fire mode doing as many things as I can simply to create the appearance that I’m working hard.

Anxiety perpetuates fear, creates the stress, and force, strong enough to shut you down.  Dealing with anxiety is critical to successfully navigating change, taking risk, and managing failure.  Here are 3 ways to keep your anxiety in check:

  1. Ask the question “why not me?” When we think we will fail it is because we don’t feel competent, smart enough, savvy enough, or insightful enough to win.  Why not? Rather than thinking about the failure, replace that thought with the question why not me.  I’m smart, why not me?  I’m intelligent, why not me?  I’ve accomplished a number of great things, why not me?
  2. Turn anxiety into excitement. Replace, what if I fail, with what will I learn? Replace what if this doesn’t last, with how much better will I be no matter how long this lasts?  What will I have experienced that will make me more valuable, more fulfilled?
  3. Breath. The power of 10 minutes of just breathing is quite powerful.  Call it meditation, self-reflection, self-empowerment, or self-love, whatever you call it the purpose of this 10 minutes is to rebalance your inner self.  To bring calm to any internal bubbling that’s taking place.  There are thousands of books on this subject, apps for your smartphone, and calming music for your ears.  Get one, or some, but act now to calm the storm from building.
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3 Hints to Help You Hit Your Goals in 2016: Hint #3 – Tell People

Goals

In my previous two blogs I wrote about the power of visualization, and the importance of writing down your goals with as much detail as possible.  You spent time thinking about your goal, what it looks like and feels like.  You captured those details on paper and keep it somewhere visible where you can see it daily.  Now you’re ready for the third, and perhaps the most difficult hint in helping you reach your goals.  Tell people!

Fear is undoubtedly the biggest driver for why we don’t achieve our goals.  Be it the fear of failure, the fear of getting started and not finishing, the fear of embarrassment, or the fear of having to ask for help, fear is the #1 reason people don’t accomplish their goals.

All of these fears are based upon our desire to fit in, to be accepted, to be normal.  As such we crave average.  Don’t shoot too high but don’t aim too low.  That’s the thinking of average.  Once we declare our goal publicly we’re now on the hook.  We’re staring that fear straight down.  We’re saying to the world “I will do this”, not try, not attempt, not hope to…but will.

Courage is perhaps the single greatest trait of successful people.  The courage to believe so deeply in yourself that even if you fail, you know you’re not a failure.  That same courage allows you to not be afraid to go after your dreams and accomplish your goals.  Courage enables you to tell the world exactly what you’re going to do.  This isn’t easy stuff.  But then again, nothing worth accomplishing is easy.

The fact is that most people are fearful of declaring their goals.  They immediately get bogged down by the “what ifs”.  They haven’t even given themselves a chance to start before they begin to identify all the obstacles and reasons why they’ll never do it, never make it, never get it, never reach it.

Surrounding yourself with the right people is crucial to your success. Your network should be filled with people who encourage you to go for the gold.  No one ever sets out to win bronze.  Tell your friends, your peers, your mentors exactly what your goal is.  Tell them when you’re going to reach it.  Make a declaration.  Write that down too.

Doing these 3 things will help you reach your goals, not just in 2016, but well beyond.