Growing up in a large Italian family, I was surrounded by loud conversations, strong opinions, and lively weekend gatherings filled with singing and dancing. Yet, despite the joyful chaos, I often felt drained, exhausted, and at times even dreaded these events. Nearly everyone around me seemed effortlessly outgoing, boisterous, and gregarious. Then there was me.
Sure, I could keep up—and I often did. I knew how to step into the spotlight, to charm and engage, yet I felt profoundly uncomfortable inside. After every family gathering, I found myself utterly wiped out, craving solitude to recharge. Back in those days, there were no smartphones, iPads, or streaming services—just silence. And I loved it.
For years, I struggled to understand why I was wired differently from my extroverted parents and older sisters, who appeared so naturally comfortable being center stage. Despite my own ability to play that part when necessary, I always collapsed afterward, craving peace and quiet.
As I grew older, nothing changed. I could still “turn it on” whenever I needed to, yet afterward, I required immediate downtime to recover. Ironically, my career path led me into sales—a field traditionally dominated by outgoing personalities. Surprisingly, I excelled at it, yet constantly wondered how I, so different from the stereotypical, extroverted sales reps, was thriving.
Then in 2012, everything clicked. I came across Susan Cain’s TED Talk titled “The Power of Introverts.” Watching Cain speak was a revelation—I saw myself reflected clearly in her insights. I learned I was an introvert, deriving strength from my natural superpower: the ability to observe, reflect, problem-solve, and thoughtfully act. My greatest strengths flourished in quieter, low-key environments.
Moreover, I discovered that my deepest professional satisfaction came not from personal accolades or spotlight moments, but rather from seeing my team succeed through their own focused efforts. My leadership style evolved naturally—not from imposing force, but from Sua Sponte—through encouraging autonomy, creativity, and genuine collaboration. I found true joy in guiding, mentoring, and participating in the developmental successes of others.
Soon after watching Cain’s TED Talk, I eagerly read her book “Quiet,” deepening my understanding of my introverted wiring. Even more interesting, I learned I wasn’t purely an introvert but rather an ambivert, comfortably flexing between extroverted demands and introverted needs for solitude and reflection.
Society often misinterprets introversion as shyness or antisocial behavior. But the reality is far different: introversion is simply about how we energize and recharge ourselves. Harvard professor Francesca Gino’s research underscores this point: teams led by introverted leaders achieved 28% higher productivity when team members were proactive and independently motivated, thanks to the careful listening and thoughtful encouragement introverts naturally provide. Additionally, studies suggest introverted CEOs are 30-40% more likely to deliberate carefully when making critical strategic decisions, potentially reducing risky outcomes.
So, to my fellow introverts—and ambiverts—embrace your unique strengths. Your quiet power is not only valuable; it’s essential. In a world that often equates noise with strength, let your thoughtful voice lead, innovate, and inspire. After all, true leadership isn’t about being the loudest in the room; it’s about creating space for everyone else to thrive.
Joseph DeRosa 